Wanna hear more about my epic Tinder failures? OF COURSE YOU DO.
OF COURSE YOU DO.
After Kayak Guy I talked to a couple other people on Tinder. I was not dissuaded. Tinder is a GOLD MINE for this blog. I'm socially awkward and the world is my (fucked up) oyster.
So I'm talking to a few folks. And y'all, let me tell you : if you're flirting with me, I won't know unless YOU TELL ME. I JUST WONT KNOW. I am oblivious to all flirtations. But this guy, this one in particular, he was really really cute. So I sacked up and invited him to a Tinfoil Hat Party.
What is a Tinfoil Hat Party you ask? It is a party. With tinfoil hats. So aliens cannot read your thoughts.
My bestie and I were doing a charity photo shoot at a local dive bar, aptly named after an animal that doesn't reside in this part of the world. The shoot was a Conspiracy Theory and as such, had to have tinfoil hats. Bonus points to me, that is sincerely the weirdest thing to ask someone to accompany you to. So if he got freaked out, no big deal. He can't hang with my weird and doesn't deserve me anyway, amiright?!
Yes. Yes I am.
So this guy looks like freaking Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead. Like straight up a Norman Reedus lookalike. We'll call him Baby Daryl. Baby Daryl agrees to meet me at the Tinfoil Hat party / shoot and he even brought his own tinfoil. He went and bought JUST tinfoil, at the risk of looking like a meth monkey. I'm not saying it's true love, but it's definitely a sign of good things to come.
Baby Daryl and I have fun! We talked all night long, I kept him out wayyyyy past his bedtime, and he even met my ex boyfriend and didn't get all weird. Bonuses all around.
Skip ahead to a few days later and Baby Daryl and I decide to go to karaoke together.
And I accidentally invited another guy on our date.
From Tinder.
This Random Guy From Tinder ended up getting so very mad, as though I owed him something other than allowing him to breathe in my presence. I got alllll manner of nasty texts. "That guy you're with is a douche, let's leave." (No -_-) "You're a bitch." (Duh) "All my friends were right about you. You're a crazy bitch." (I tried to tell you.)
This guy was really really mad. And I didn't realize he was flirting with me. When you ask me to pick you up so you can go see your friends and smoke a joint it doesn't exactly equate to first date material. I mean COME THE FUCK ON. But I was completely oblivious to That Random Guy's flirting. 100% gone. But hey, let's be mad about it, yeah? Calling me a psycho bitch REALLY MAKES ME WANT TO DATE YOU.
Not.
Fast forward a few weeks later. Baby Daryl had introduced me to his friends via the most decidedly nerdtastic lunch I've ever been to. And that's saying A LOT. I've dubbed these dudes The Nerd Herd. I even told them about it and they liked it. I can't win.
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